Beautiful TX

A couple months ago, i dreamt about going to han's apartment in Houston, TX with her sister nisa. Han was sick when we got there. n i met my middle school friend Sansha there (at han's apartment) it's kind a weird though..
anyhow, while we were excitingly planning to explore the city and one of the college there, han was packing her clothes, and getting ready to go back to Indonesia. then i woke up..

Yesterday, i had a similar dream, but this time her apartment was different, n look more like a house in a country side than an apartment in the city.. the view from the terrace is so beautiful, all the trees and the roof was covered in snow... it's winter time, as far as i know there is no snow in TX.. well it's another weird things from my dream.. as i admiring the view, it's getting even better when the snow start falling again.. i appreciate my recent life but i wish i'll sometime experience that moment in my real life..


-L-

Scared to Death..

For your information, i exaggerated a little bit the title of this posting, so it might get your attention. =)

well, right at this moment, i do feel anxious..
but i can understand why it happened to me..
i guess I'm worried about my future,will i ever get out of the circle of procrastination??!!
it'll be so hard to get out when u don't have anything matter to motivate u to break the circle.
n i haven't found one now..

this lyric below "the climb" from Miley Cyrus is fit for describing my situation now..

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side…
It’s the climb…

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
The pain I’m knowing
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,

-L-

Journal 2008 (+ 2007)

Well, these are some list of important facts or things that have happened in my life during mid 2007 till the end of 2008 just to remind me (i assume this blog as my journal). So here we go:

July 2007
*Hanifa moved out to College Station, TX with her husband
*Moving to a new house, 2Nd story room in Dago (Bangbayang st. 27B) with my pal from psychology: Ona, Wasil, Niki, Emma, Mirra, Indah, Nisa(she's from other faculty in UNPAD) and Indah's sister. But i kind a hardly ever stayed there (because of the broken bathroom), in fact i used to stayed in Anisah's (my best friend since high school) place in Jatinangor when i have to meet my minithesis counselor.
*Having my "Seminar" in the end of this month, many friends came such as: Hera and Febi as my reviewer, Lusi the one who helped me typing all the question, and other audience such as Nuy, Ona, Betty, Arti and few other - i just can't remember them (Sorry, and thank u i really appreciate you guys)

August 2007
*Get away from my minithesis

September 2007
*Trying to get more information about drug addict in Halmahera and SCWK

October 2007
*Ramadhan Month 1428
*Making a questionnaire for ex-drug addict locus of control

November 2007
*Revised the questionnaire

December 2007
*Revised the questionnaire

January 2008
*tried out the questionnaire in "Rumah Palma" Cimahi West Java

February 2008
*Data gathering in Jakarta (SCWK and Halmahera House)

March 2008
*Continuing data gathering in SCWK
*Data Analysis
*Keisha Fatiha Anas was born (07.45 am) -- she's my 1st niece

April 2008
* Became a reviewer for Dali's Forum and Betty's Seminar

May 2008
* Hanifa came back from Houston, TX (miss her so much)

June 2008
* Found a perfect gift for mother -- Guy Laroche Leather wallet

July 2008
*Met my new mentor and new friends for the first time in Jakarta.
*Had a reunion with Hanifa, Nuy, Ona & Lusi @ Hanifa's house

August 2008
*had a trip to Batam & Bintan island with my parents, the beach is pretty cool and the food is totally amazing.
*had a crazy trip to Singapore with astrid: walking around the city from 8am till 2 am in the morning. (Her mother, aunty nina was worried sick waiting for us to come home)
*Anisah told me that she became an ambassador for Green Peace International camp & meeting from Indonesia in Madagascar for 2 months. Cool, isn't?? and she was also admitted that she's dating her best friend "Magma" ... ('')

September 2008
* Ramadhan 1429 H
* Itikaf (21st) at Masjid Bea Cukai

October 2008
*Aid El Fitr (1st) at Gegesik House with my parents, Ayiz, Teh ayi & A Lano unfortunately Teh Lian, Ka Cahyo, Mas Wino & Ka Meyni couldn't came
* Mba Wella's and Mas Novi Wedding day (11th)

November 2008
* Had a reunion with Shita and Pipit at Grand Indonesia
* Ka Ina and Mas Dimas Wedding day (22st)
* went to Kidzania with Ayiz, A Lano, and Teh Ayi (23nd)

December 2008
* Sasha and Mba Ika visit Jakarta
* Eid Al Adha at Gegesik with Keisha, Ka Meyni, Mas Wino and of course also with mom and dad
* Spent 5 days at Tosiga taking care of Ayiz
* Azka Aqila Anas was born (12th, 07.30 am)
* Keisha visited Azka and Ayiz at Tosiga, here's some picture from that day:

*KEISHA AND AYIZ*

#KEISHA AND AZKA#

* Going shopping with Mba Ika and Makiko Abe at ITC Kuningan all afternoon after that we hang out at Makiko's apartment in Senayan Square (21st)
* Gloss photo session with Ka Meyni, Keisha and Teh Lian then we have lunch together.. Look how happy Keisha that day...

*Bought a static bike for daddy at Kettler Grand Indonesia with my sister

Another Year Has Fly

This blog is missed all the things that had happened in 2008 coz now it's already year 2009... Another new year for me but nothing has changed in my little world... still denying the same problem (u know what) up until now... i hate that!! why is it that hard for me to get through it??

Everyone i know is growing up..
1st my brother "Lano, MBA" just has his 2nd child named "Azka Aqila Anas" on december 12th 2008
2nd my sister "Dr. Lian" just 4 semester away to become an anesthesiologist and expecting a baby too (i'll pray for u sis)
3rd my other brother "Wino, ST" also already has a 10 month old baby girl named "Keisha Fatiha Anas"
My dad and my mom's already have 1 grandson and 2 granddaughter and their business is also getting steady..
One of My best friend "Ona, S.Psi" is already on her way to became a psychologist
my other best friend "Nisa, S.Kom" is busy with her Wedding Organizer Team
"Hanifa" is gaining responsibility as a wife and a mother soon (i hope!)
"Shita, S.E" is busy in her office as a marketing planner for Toyota
"Pipit" one step away to become a dentist
"Lusi and Nuy" keep doing their best works...
even the dentist who took care of me yesterday was my senior in high school name "Drg. Reni"
and many more people i knew, my classmates, my relative are growing up everyday.. (i just can say it all here)


but what have i done all that year?? almost nothing constructive.. I'm in a stagnation phase, but for how long??

Sincerely,


-L-

Le Misserable..

Assalamu'alaykum warahmatullah,

i'm speechless..
how can i act like this..
i can't keep my own promise.. (is 2 be more productive in year 2007.. by regularly posting a new idea in this blog!) it's been like 6 months since the last time i posted something here..
very childish and unresponsible.. (judgements about my self)


Today i've learned another lesson ini life...is that you've need to re-new your motivation everyday, for everysingle action u do.. just do it coz of Allah SWT.. that'll help u so much whenever you've to deal with various obstacle in achieving your dream..
actually, i've known about thiz a long long time ago.. i just tasted the benefit of ikhlas by my self.. when i have to faced a difficult situation (that i've never been there before) n make my own decision.. n it has a strong connection to my faith about which one u love more Allah SWT n Rasulullah SAW or someone else..

culture in indonesia now is very different than in rasulullah Muhammad SAW 's time..
boundaries between man n woman is no longer clear.. only a few people know it, and fewer people use it in their daily life..

to be continued..

Meeting All night...

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

My bad... i miss 1 day to write something2 here......
Sorry...
i hope u all would understand me.. coz now i'll explain to u my rationalization reason...
Yesterday hmm.. let say i was having " a lazy moment" .. i spent almost the entire day in my cozy bed... reading books.. comic books .. hehehee... ^_^ coz i just got back home from the hospital at 3 am .. (who was the sick one by the way?) she is one of my friend.. we're just getting to know one another at that night.. i took her to the hospital at 11 pm, after i recieved a phone from some friend.. he told me that someone was sick n need to go to the hospital right away... you might wondering why am i doing that, for someone that i don't even know the name.. .. hhmm.. its called sisterhood... or in arabic called ukhuwah... anyway i'd be very happy if i could do something good to other people//

And last night i had this meeting.. it's for my new project.... i'm joining in child commission for Rumah Bunda Assosiation... Jatinangor..

念願 (nengan- red)... i hope i can be more useful to the society...

this is our 1st meeting, fauliza as the chief of this commision, she was explaining to us about Rumah Bunda Assosiation aims, goals, background and the founders.. in that meeting we're also trying to create the program for child commission for the next 1 year.. it's include finding the form, the purpose.. the target.. and budget..
my other partner in this commission is Febi, Beti, Dali and T Yuyun (??)

to all who read this.. please...
祈り ベスト (inori besuto- red) wish us for the best!

戸惑い >... (Tomadoi-- red)

Help me please...My God...Allah SWT... the al mighty

i felt terribly confused today... i have a lots of things to do.. but don't know where to start..
i have this take home test... writing a popular- scintific article// hhh...
to write an article it's not easy for me..... creating an idea.. find the topic.....
it's almost impossible..

i know this isn't right... but i really felt like a loser, when it comes to this kind of work...

i need Your guidance... Allah .. the most gracious, the most merciful...

Please.....